Well it appears I run a disreputable site, and censorship is alive and well within the confines of MSN.  I never solicited for being featured, nor when asked if I would summarize why I thought my site should be listed, I denied.  They still ran it in their feature segment and now they have informed me, with no reason that it is unsuitable, have decided to pull it.  All I can say is that I am sorry if I have offended any of you by my comments about funeral directing, maybe a picture of MJ with some breasts or whatever.  Never my intent to lead any of you down a path of ill repute.

 

so, I will continue to post as previous, until maybe they read this and decide to pull my site completely due to offending them.  I think the reason to blog is self expression, but is this possible unless we own the network in which we choose to transmit our ideas, our stories, or what makes us laugh?  Fear not, I will not be dismayed.

 

Best night to all of you and blog on! ~ Jeff

A while back I posted on the overview of the steps it takes to emblam the body and prepare it for visitation.  Also have posted a few of the lighter stories that made us laugh our butts off and still does.  Well, everything in that business is always not "by the book" and enjoyable - as one would imagine.  Regardless, your neighborhood funeral director is probobly one person who has his/her head on pretty straight for they have seen a wide range of emothions, sites, and scenarios.  With that knowledge and those experiences, they can relate to almost any situation outside of their business and deal with most everything effectively.  Let's just say what is seen daily puts a huge amount of life into "persepctive". 

 

One of the main reasons I chose the career was to work with people through tough times.  The feeling inside after helping friends, family and new faces each day was a tremendous uplift to the inner spirit.  It is not to say there were difficult times in which you completely had to leave your personal life on the side and absorb the feelings of others, and then to turn off that before coming home and spending quality time with the family.  A real balancing act at times, but well worth the payoff for what was given to us.  Let me share a particular experience.  It is somewhat graphic, but will leave the majority of the details out to censor for those not wanting to hear all of the details!

 

We had received notification that the post master of a small town north of us had shot himself in his home and was found by his daughter.  We all had known this family, and I in particular knew them a little more.  The deceased had shot himself in the right temple which then left an exit wound out of the left side of his head about the size of a grapefruit.  In most cases, there was little anyone could do and we had prepared the body thinking a "closed" casket was in order.  That afternoon I sat down with the wife and her 2 daughters.  He had left a note on the basement door to not come down, just call the police.  Well, the 18 year old could not follow those directions very well (who could) and she proceeded to go down and see her father slumped over with a site I will leave you all to formulate.  She sat in our arrangement room and looked at me and said, "Jeff, I will never see my father any other way than that, is there any way you could do anything?".  I said we would do our best and with that my partner and I spent the next 16 hours straight reconstructing bone fragments by drilling holes and tying pieces together to make a semblence of a head.  With some wax, a strategically placed beret (part of his uniform) there is not a person who would have been able to tell what happened.  The whole time I suffered through the emotions of being pissed at this person for what had hppened and taking so much of my time, to also feeling sorry for someone that must become so ill to do such a deed.

 

The upshot is when she came to the funeral home and saw her father, she sobbed so hard and almost instantly turned and ran into my arms thanking me profusely.  At that moment I knew we just were not furniture salesmen for the dead and that word "perspective" rang loud and clear in my mind.

 

Have a good humpday all ~ Jeff

I think it is never easy to go from a life (even if not so great) into one in which a new batch of characters are present.  You can be divorced, but are you really ever.  I will always love my ex, no doubt about it and we have a reasonably amicable relation.  My daughter is almost fully grown (she would say she already is), and Coke has her 2 kids (18 and 20) with an ex who is not so willing to be friendly.  We have dogs, yes a total of 7 of them, a cat and a horse.  Integration of all these aforementioned things is prolly what keeps us so into each other and by working through all of the issues has grounded us in reality.  It is good.  We have yet to not see that the light shines brighter when one or the other is there to remind each other that we do not hold the answers, yet simply ask the question back knowing that each of us has it within.

 

Going to the higher self in times of need is really the only answer.  Living authentically, standing deep in your own truth is what allows each of us to gain the freedom we all seek.  No one person can provide you with the answers, no partner, no religous being - only yourself.  Can these people or deities help guide you and replenish your soul - absolutely.  But thinking they are the answer is a recipe for disaster in my opinion.  So as I transition from a life in which I had come to realize into one where standing shoulder to shoulder facing the journey with a partner is being met with wide eyes, open heart and a quiet mind I cannot be more happy.  A life of abundance is always more enjoyable than using the perspective of a life of lack.  Challenge yourself to find it on your own knowing it is within, and taking ownership in your choices and feelings will start you (and collectively all of us) in a direction that leads to more content and peace.

 

Good day to you all ~ Jeff

It is hard to figure out how conceited sometimes we as humans can be.  Mostly in particular some of us living in this bubble and how we are focused on our problems on our "soil" and that what happens outside our boundaries are of less consequence to our lives.

 

Is it possible that when put into perspective, Hurricane Katrina vs. the psunami or now the quake in the Pakistan region is really just an overblown attempt by our media and government to divert the attention away from the other autrocities going on in this land or our connection to creating these scenarios?  Please hear this - I am in no way shape or form trying to reduce the significance of the lives lost in the wake of Katrina or any other natural disaster in the States, nor am I advocating that we are the cause of all natural disasters around the globe.  But what I am trying to point out is the fact we, as a general consensus, have been so quick to point out the "poor me" syndrome instead of realizing we have a life of abundance and not lack.  You actually had to work the remote to find out more on the quake, because so many stations are still talking about the hurricane aftermath.  What a disingenuous mindset.  What a disgrace to humanity.  We are all connected - ALL OF US.  Not bound by borders, soil, or air sapce.  When we take on a global mindset, and realize we are of no more significant than the animals, plants and other organisims living within this "ball" of life, we will start to take ownership in what is real.  And that my friends is that by choosing to live out of love rather than fear, we will elevate the existence of all, including ourselves.

 

Have a great week and stay connected ~ Jeff

Ok, was not expecting that to come about.  First of all thanks to all who have dropped by, the comments and the praise.  Nothing really, just the thoughts of a crazy Minnesotan is all.  Mel, thanks for the email and to all of the original group, thanks a bunch.  It has been a while since I have posted an entry so it lookks as though I had better do some updating.

 

I am still in a relation with my gal.  Things are really good and we have taken a couple of trips, spent a lot of time together and away, and really enjoying this in the momnet thing yet today.  It is amazing, since there is no control, no obligation and no expectation that living so freely can cultivate such a delightful relation.  Try it, you'll like it!  Courtney is working hard in school (at least that is what she says), and I have been busy at work.  The Iowa thing crashed in the final week, and although I was planning on a move, I think it is for the best I stay put for the final 2 years four the kid.  Plus all the dogs would be lost in all the corn fields!  I took some time to re read some of my initial entries, and have to say I would like to get back to some more profound topics once again.  The issues we see in the news, or better yet, the issues that do not make headlines are what needs to get to be brought into focus.  I will be open to any suggestions, and any topic ideas.

 

Lately I have done a "cleanse".  It was half baked at best, and am looking to go into a month long detox with the better half, as she has done it before.  After visiting her mother in Boulder, came back with a sense of wanting to not only take part in the physical sense, but clean out the inside as well.  Been practicing yoga, running my dogs before the winter sets in, and spending a ton of time reading.  Ok, I will leave it at that for now, and thanks again all, it truly is inspiring to hear all of your words in life as well and will do my best to get a few decent topics along with the fluff in there from time to time.

 

Best Sunday to all ~ Jeff

and I still am procrastinating about working on my space.  Sheesh, typical male! 

 

Things have escalated at work so much lately, my daughter is busier than ever it appears, and I still have much work to do in considering the possible career change.  These are GOOD problems to work with I realize, and have maintained a high level of optimism throughout.  But with all of the things going on in the world, it is hard to not see it any other way.

 

How does one quantify a move?  I mean, sure we all like the money in a potential change of career, but how do you put dollars and "sense" behind your kids, animals, home life, etc...  I am not asking to put an amount on Court's head by any means, but I also know these choices are what ensures her college fund, helping out for the future and the such.  But I also know that being there everyday is very important and struggle with this.  I continue to work from the spirit within, and ask myself what course I need to create.  Once again - good problems.  I have Coke in my life, who has been a tremendous help through all of this, as she is not there to provide any answers, just simply keep asking the questions back that I already have the answers inside.  She is amazing, and am blessed to have such a joy to work with as apparently our journey's are on the same path.  For how long?  Who knows and really who cares?  This moment thing is working, and realizing that mutually has kept it alive, fresh, and with no expectations no one has been hurt, felt shame, guilt or blame.  We are driving all of our friends crazy as they see how "in love" it appears to them that we cannot commit and run to the alter, but simply by stating our only commitment is to not have one, drives 'em nuts! 

 

So there you have it.  A ton of stuff.  A load that is fun to throw around and see where it lands.  I want to end up where I want, but by throwing away the map and ensuring the wind will get me there is all I need right now.  Those unexpected detours along the way, forks in the road are what I truly am grateful to have come into my life.

 

Best to you as always ~ Jeff

as i write this my life is headed in divergent ways.  in some ways i am slowing down and other ways seemingly are speeding up.  slowing down - the golf season, busyness at work and fishing season.  speeding up - hunting season, potential transistion in careers, daughter in school and my love life.

 

the divergence is seemingly pulling me in many directions, but most of them are blessed.  i cannot say what it is like to have a companion that i was not expecting to have in this journey.  once again a blessing that was unexpected.  timing is always an issue seemingly, as it is now with all of these things presenting themsleves at once.  that is why i have been away from the blogging for a while, but will try and get some decent entries in the next few days.  nothing major, just some thoughts on life, transistion, and the journey as it continues.  happiness is within i realize, but still amazed at how outside influence can dictate so much, so fast, and so intense.

 

best days to all on this upcoming long weekend ~ Jeff

Welcome all.  What an almost perfect weekend in Minnesota.  I just love the first taste of fall - no humidity during the days, light breeze and 75 degrees.  Nights bring temps in the low 50's and a beautiful moon.  Turn the AC off, and open the windows.  Wow - I love it.

 

Spent most of the weekend helping a friend while he was gone take care of his animals and home.  In turn spent quite a bit of time on his lake and pontoon just relaxing.  Had some friends out and we just had a few beers, some food, and great conversation.  It really was one of those moments that stick with you for a while.  Coke is away on her travels, and starting to think if this is the way to have a relation?  By that I mean with time away, we stay fresh for when we do get the chance to see each other.  Cells, text messaging and emails keep the mind going, so maybe a little restraint on the physical side is in order?!?!

 

I do have to say though, jealousy is something that would have been alive and well in my earlier years.  Knowing she has more than enough opportunity to "date" on the road (as I do here), and knowing if she does it is by her choice and in no way do we have ownership over each other.  In the past I would have wanted to know all the details, and now I just really care about hearing how her day is going - nothing more.  Maybe this is a sign of things to come, but maybe it is a sign of maturing in this journey.  Just taking it for what it is seems to be working.  I am not going to lie, it is the most comfortable I have ever been with another and if I could sign this up for a lifetime I would.  But the moment I put her in that place and "expect" it to be, then restraint and control creep in and it can leave just as quick as it came.  Or worse yet, it could be smothered and stiffled to the point of dissapointment once again.

 

So does this sound to any of you that I, or her, are unwilling to commit to each other exclusively?  Or is it, as I believe, a relation in which mutual repsect and admiration for each other superceeds any sense of "you owe me because..." type?  Let me know your thoughts and if I am out whack, or if you think this is a fresh way to look at things, hey sound off!

 

Best days to all ~ Jeff

 

 

 

 

Winning and losing.  Black and white.  Right and wrong.  It appears as though we have always accepted that it is one or the other.  No grey area, no middle ground.  You are or you aren't.  This is a day in which I am in a real pickle I guess.

 

As most of you know, I have an almost grown daughter (one more year of school) in which I have chosen to be the primary landing spot for her life after her mother moved.  I have always done everything through a conscious effort of placing her aspirations ahead of mine and wanted to ensure her continuity after the split.  I could not be a happier father, as I truly have a remarkable young lady that I am proud to be a part of.  If you have kept up at all on other things in life I have posted, there are many twists and turns taking place.  I am a grown man, who works hard at raising his zoo, his own personal growth and have finally entered into the world of sharing time with another.  She has been great and it has esclated to the point where we plan as much time as possible with each other.  She works as an airline steward and her week to week plans are always in constant change.  With that in mind, I had her come to the home the other night and she met my daughter and we talked and she ended up staying the night.  I had talked with my daughter frequently about what it is she would be comfortable with and was constantly reminded that it was just a joy to see her Pop happy after these last few years that she was fine with seeing me move on.  She reiterated that knowing where she lives (about an hour away) that it is conceivable to have her stay overnight.

 

Well, maybe I interpreted that wrong, because what has happened is the opposite.  I appear to have been placed on a higher pedestal than I thought as she and I have since talked about her feelings and she expressed that in no way does she want that to happen again.  Mind you, her boyfriend is over all the time, mother lives with another man, etc...and I am not looking to justify or substantiate my position, but am I giving in to easy (as I told her I would respect her wishes and never have a guest again).  Is there a double standard going on?  Have I created an environment that I cannot go back on now?  I am so confused as I really enjoy everyday I have on this earth and it only has been better since meeting 'Coke' -  her nickname.  I would not have entered into this water had I not been prepared, but now feel as though since others are not in my life prepared, I must wait.  I am not complaining, just saddened is all.  I should not be taking ownership in doing anything wrong, as I cannot reiterate enough to all of you that I will do whatever it takes to provide a transistion into adulthood for my daughter at all cost.  So maybe there is no winning, or losing?  Maybe by living so in the moment I get caught off guard.  But then again, if you plan and it does not follow accordingly, then you get frustrated.  Are there any winners?

 

Have a great day all, once again these are small potatoes in the grand scheme of things.

 

~Jeff

It seemingly happens from time to time in life.  Many things happening at once.  Going forward with a mission seems almost antiquated as you never can plot too far in advance (can you plot at all?) for many things happen and then you wind up having to reasess your position.  This happens to be one of those moments it appears.

 

My daughter has 2 years of high school left and I am raising her on my own for the most part.  Her life is the most important thing for myself now and ensuring her positive transistion into being a strong, independant woman will not ever come into question in my actions.  With that being said, I have many things colliding at once.  I remind you that I am only viewing this with the utmost of positives and having so much on my plate at once is a blessing.  But seperating the flyshit from the pepper can be hard sometimes and knowing that decisions of this magnitude will have a profound effect on the future (not only for me, but her as well).  A potential career change is going to be presented in a short time, one in which had timing been different I would not even consider saying "no".  I have a relation in which I am curious about, and not knowing, or really caring, how the end comes about cannot help but want to see it through.  Both of these events coupled with ensuring my daughters continuity have me really searching hard to try and "plan" the best course.

 

Living in the moment has and will continue to be my guidance.  Planning for the future is futilie is it not?  I mean yes I do care about it and know my actions effect it, but I also know that by opening this door now does not necessarily mean that the desired outcome always comes to fruition.  I have started to meditate to a higher level trying to seek some more guidance from quieting my own analytical mind, and hope that it will work.  I guess all I can do at this point is to continue working with integrity, nobility and having the end result not be a "benchmark" if I did right or wrong, is the only way? 

 

These are good things to be pondering.  All of them have been a blessing.  Seemingly they have come all at once because I have asked them too.  Going forward, maybe the best thing to do is plot a course in a general direction, and allow the wind to carry you to your spot in the sun.

 

Best week all ~ Jeff